Crowned Sun
by Moonlight M3lody
Summary: Arshtat Falenas was a mother, but first and foremost she was the Queen.


A/N: Starting campus life is so damn stressful. Tell me if you find mistakes (bound to be many) because my head isn't quite working right these days.

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Arshtat Falenas was a mother,

But first and foremost she was the Queen.

It started early in her childhood; she witnessed how messed up the family she was born in really was. Unlike common families she saw at the town, she couldn't even meet her parents in daily basis, being raised by maid and tutors and countless lessons fitting for a princess. She wasn't even the first in line of the throne. Her only friends were her little sister and cousin, three princesses struggling to face royal politics in absurdly young age. Then a nightmare later called Falenan Succession War ensued, robbing her away of almost everything, even causing strained relationship with her precious friend and family, Haswar. Following the war her mother managed to ascend to throne, on which she died with regrets.

She saw the futility of her life, how the action she took to gain power as well as tearing her family apart, was rendered meaningless at the end.

So she swore to protect her family, because it was the only thing she could claim within the palace. The royals lived for the people of Falena. That was the creed; nothing else mattered more.

She met Ferid before her dreaded Games. Her stomach fluttered as she saw his fierce eyes entering the arena of Sacred Games, gambling his chance to ask for her hand in marriage. In fortunate twist of fate the Sun fulfilled her wish when he stormed into victory.

The second time she fell in love in the first sight was when she looked at her baby, all silver hair and sparkling eyes and creamy skin of him. He was her pride and joy, someone she was sure would be as great as his father in the future.

But he was a boy. She had to feign disappointment for the nobles, for her people. Her first instinct was to cuddle him and told him how much she loved him; instead, she let them took him away. She wanted to scream at those disgusting faces they made. Who cared if her firstborn was a boy? He was hers and Ferid's; he was someone she would glad giving her life for.

The Queen, mortal holder of the authority of the Sun, should think of the Queendom at all time.

So like a proper Queen and leader, she vowed to give birth to a daughter to secure the royal lineage.

-/-/-/-

Not soon though.

She deliberately widen the gap between her two children, warding off negative publicity while maintaining Frey's status as an only child.

Once his sister is born, Arshtat knew he would be neglected because Princes were not needed in Queendom. Before that happened she would be free to teach and pamper him properly. She prided herself as a good judge of character, thanks to living her whole life in the palace full of head-spinning intrigues, so she handpicked the best instructors for the best education possible for Frey, who grew to be a bright and strong kid. She had no doubt he would make a good Commander of the Queen's Knights one day, but like any other Falenan princes in history, he didn't belong there.

If there was anyone questioning her parenting decision, they wisely kept their mouths shut, because she maintained the Queendom with great care expected of her. For a while, everything seemed perfect. Sialeeds and Haswar loved the child. Ferid was gradually accepted by the more begrudging of the nobles through his achievements.

She felt happy for her life while it lasted.

The Queendom needed an heir, so after nine years she couldn't give excuses any longer. Luck, it seemed, smiled upon her once again as she was blessed with a beautiful baby girl.

Her daughter took after her father, which captivated Arshtat as she absentmindedly stroked the sliver of brown. Though the trademark silver hair of the royal family was missing from Lymsleia ("It means 'prayer' in ancient Sindarian," said Ferid), Arshtat believed she would be a Queen like no other.

She couldn't hide her sadness from her family, though, something that quickly spread to them once they realized that the innocent baby would have to face the harsh reality, being the future bearer of the crown.

That night she cried in Ferid's arms.

/././.

She postponed Lymsleia's Games as long as he could. How dare them! Pushing her around, toying with her daughter's life like it was nothing. Who in their sane mind would suggest talking about marriage when said child was only four? Sacred Games would be held after Lym's 16th birthday. She'd like if Lym could keep her innocence for a while longer, but time was running out for them.

They were getting more cunning, the Barrows. On the other hand, the Godwins were more passive but she bet the family was just waiting for the right time to lay their cards on the playing field. Dealing with Marscal Godwin, she couldn't afford any mistake. His son Gizel was slowly turning into a sly fox like his father, totally unlike the bashful boy once engaged to Sialeeds.

Perhaps, like them, the noble kids had their own issues. Unfortunately, there was no way to make everyone happy.

/./.

Ferid teased her ever now and then, about the 'what-ifs'. That they would escape the castle and live somewhere faraway as ordinary people. He would take Frey out to hunt or fish while she would prepare dinner along with Lymsleia. Sialeeds and Haswar, living nearby, join them to share crazy family antics over the dining table.

A life totally mundane, away from luxury entailing her status.

A life she could only dream because her duty was to her country first.

Every now and then she entertained the idea of sending her children faraway, somewhere they could live their life the way they wanted.

Somewhere Frey could grow to his fullest potential.

Somewhere Lymsleia could be free of her burden.

Like always, she ditched the absurd thoughts, watching Lym working on her studies and Frey running errands around the country.

Who was she to talk about sacrifice? She and Ferid were relatively lucky. Sialeeds had to let go of the man she loved. Haswar had to live in isolation. The least she could do was being a good Queen for Falena. For them.

Arshtat Falenas was a mother,

But first and foremost she was the Queen.


End file.
